Updated: Jan 23, 2022
In the dictionary is says there are two meanings for the word PURITY
1. FREEDOM from adulteration or contamination.
The second meaning is
2. FREEDOM from immorality, especially of a sexual nature.
My favourite synonyms of Purity - valour, strength.)
The lord has been laying two things on my heart in the last year
The first was purity – A call to be “pure of Heart”. Over these months I have been pondering and waiting to see where this takes me.
I was baptised in gateway a year or so ago. It was a wonderful moment in my walk with god. I sensed that it was going to be a turning point in my life and that the workings that my father was doing within me was going to change the way I saw myself, the way I presented and the way I communicated. I felt like the lord was giving me a coming of age party. I was coming into a new season of womanhood. That of an advocate. A representative if you will…..not sure of his plan but stepping out into the new identity that I sensed the lord was making changes for, and still is for sure.
What do you think of when you think of Purity?.. For me I immediately think of Nuns, or Monks, a religious iconic picture. What do you see . ??
The image brings a sense of something unreachable and impossible. When I think of the vows nuns and monks have taken they seemed to be far beyond my reach, vows of silence…an impossible feat for someone such as myself. I tried closing my mouth for 5 minutes once…I never tried it again. I found myself talking to myself in my head it was that difficult. What worried me more was that I answered too. Vows of Celibacy I can relate more too. I am glad of my celibacy; I have been in love with the word “No” for quite some time. Even before I came back to the lord it empowered me and I was able to use it on so many occasions. I have often thought the world has forgotten what a powerful word it is.
For many years I was in the world and took on its perceptions as my own. So in the past when I would look to myself I would see something far from pure, I had been tarnished. I had a preconception that my purity was my virginity. As a teenager that was taken from me, I didn’t give it away, up to that point I was innocent and then every part of me was dirty, I lost myself. My innocence had been robbed. I had been used and my body was no longer my own. Whilst I don’t need to dwell on that experience, it has been significant in how I have seen myself, up till now. There are remnants of shame that still linger in my mind now and then, but they are quickly followed by an new understanding of what it is to be filled with the holy spirit. When I was baptised I knew that I was going through a kind of cleansing. I sensed the lord telling me that he was going to show me the woman he saw me to be. I knew that he was truly washing away my sin, even though he had already done this on the cross, I wasn’t fully living in the freedom from my past. I write from my own experience but understand that there are brothers and sisters that will know these feelings, whether it’s through bad choices or experiences we have had no control over. To live in the freedom of knowing there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ, through baptism of the Holy Spirit, was key to knowing the meaning of the cross and my salvation. By looking at my faith and declaring publicly that I would willingly follow Jesus gave me an overwhelming sense of honour, valour, and determination to represent my father as a daughter of the King. So there is the work in progress, God is teaching me to see myself as a child again even though I am a woman, I am given the feeling I had when I was a teenager and that I had everything to live for. An excitement and joy that wasn’t there before is now seated in my heart and that is because of the holy spirit, we know that it says in Galatians 5 it tells us, the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit...
Let me be the first to say that in no way have I nailed all this and that I am walking around living each of these gifts, I am not, but I get it now. Agape love that god gives us is healing the tarnished perception of the woman I was and is giving me new sight. I am not of the flesh and no longer bound by it. My body is not mine to give, its gods. As a single Christian woman I now see the importance of being in tune with god’s desire for us. The sins of my past no longer define me.
We fall and we make mistakes, this isn’t a message of condemnation. This is about being accountable. Not just women but this is just as relevant for men. What’s our dialogue, our thoughts and our actions and our expectations? Are we presenting ourselves as we should?
A question I will ask myself time and time again. I am going to get it wrong and I will make mistakes, but I think now I can say I’m aware as a daughter of the king.
The second is this, About 8 months ago I had a dream of a man preaching on a platform outside a building. I was standing outside with other people and we were being separated into two groups. I didn’t know what the man was saying but I know I was being led away, just as this was happening I heard god calling out in a loud voice asking “Are you connected to the spirit?”. It was at the moment I woke up suddenly and sat bolt upright it had a huge effect on me. I thought about it for weeks and wondered whether it was about me, but I believe this was for us all; it has had a massive impact on the way I try and work out who I am and what god wants to change in me. I have such a long way to go and will take a lifetime to change but I do know this. The Holy Spirit is key in knowing our father, our friend, our saviour and he helps us make the right choices the more he lives in us. Yes there will be mistakes, but its what’s in our hearts that’s important, the holy spirit bears fruits and by our words we will be known. Hope this encourages you. We all struggle with our walk, we go from season to season, god knows that and we are all part of his family in Christ. Love you all . :-)